take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have feelings that need drinking.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
