Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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