i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
