dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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