He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
