just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
