the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
