Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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