The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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