So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
