hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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