Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
