I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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