bring money and cleavage
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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