The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize