Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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