I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
