My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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