I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
