you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
whose parrot is this?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
