your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
