True but thats because hes a fetus.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
