girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize