i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
