He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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