I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
