I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
...so i touched it.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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