I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
