No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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