And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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