That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize