Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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