I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
