Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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