Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
