My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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