woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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