Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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