quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
