I'm jealous of your bromance
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
