my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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