Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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