I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
