Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
