He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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