i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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