cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
