I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
