Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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