I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize