You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
that may or may not have been my penis.
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