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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
