you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
