Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
